“Why would you, Anthony Weiner, choose a
pseudonym like ‘Carlos Danger’ to conceal your online identity?” asked Dr.
Phil, before a live studio audience as he sat across from the former
congressman and current New York City
“Because, I like living dangerously,”
Weiner replied simply.
“Yes, I see,” said Dr. Phil as he set
aside his cell phone. “That would explain the surname of your pseudonym.
However, that doesn’t explain why you chose ‘Carlos’ as the first name of your
pseudonym, does it now?”
“No,” said Weiner after a long pause
before answering. “It doesn’t.”
“Would you like to tell me now?” asked Dr.
Phil. “Because the pseudonym you’ve chosen can provide me with immense insight
into aiding me to answer the question as to the reason why you feel you have a
compulsory need to engage in this self-destructive behavior of sexting strange
women. Or women you don’t know very well.”
“No, I’ll tell you, Dr. Phil,” said
Weiner. “I chose the name ‘Carlos’ not so much to hide my identity as to
expose...”
“And who’s that?” asked Dr. Phil, as he
glances over at his cell phone.
“That would be ‘Little Carlito’,” answered
Weiner. “Short for ‘Carlos’.”
“And I presume ‘Little Carlito’ is the
nickname you’ve given your penis?” asked Dr. Phil.
“No, actually,” replied Weiner. “It’s not
my nickname for it. I mean it’s its nickname. I’m not denying that. What I mean
is that I didn’t come up with it.”
“Well then. This is telling,” said Dr.
Phil. “Who did?”
“My wife,” replied Weiner. “In fact, it
was all her idea.”
“You mean the nickname?” asked Dr. Phil.
“The nickname, the pseudonym and the whole
sexting thing,” replied Weiner.
“You mean sexting to her only?” asked a
surprised Dr. Phil. “And then you decided on your own volition to take it a
step further. And you started sexting other women without her knowledge.”
“No,” Weiner calmly replied. “She’s into
it too.”
“What kind of fool do you think I am?” Dr.
Phil asked rhetorically. “Expecting me to believe your wife is the one
responsible for your behavior. You’re just trying to set her up to fall on your
sword -- No pun intended folks.”
Just then, Weiner’s cell phone gave off a
distinctive ring tone familiar only to him.
“Excuse me, Dr. Phil,” said Weiner,
confirming who was calling him. “I got to take this call. It’s my wife.”
“Sure,” said Dr. Phil. “Go ahead.”
As Weiner walked backstage to take his
cell phone call in private, the silhouette of his slender but physically fit
frame was visible from behind an opaque screen.
“Hi, honey,” answered Weiner, unaware he
was exposing his profile to Dr. Phil and the studio audience. “Just talking to
Dr. Phil about you know who. What’s that? Here? Now? Well, okay. If you say
so.”
Weiner then unzipped his pants, dropping
them to the floor. Then while holding his cell phone out before him, he
proceeded to take a series snapshots of his private parts.
“There,” said Weiner. “I just hit send.
Did you get them yet? See I told you ‘Little Carlito’ is okay. I gotta go now,
honey. Love you too.”
Weiner then zips up his pants, pockets his
cell phone and proceeds to walk back on stage, sitting on the couch.
“Sorry about that,” said Weiner. “Now,
where was I?”
“Never mind,” said Dr. Phil.
Copyright © 2008-2013 by Robert W.
Armijo. All rights reserved.
